


Don't Leave Me As Well

by TheDarkestSunrise



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 16:06:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6086089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDarkestSunrise/pseuds/TheDarkestSunrise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lydia is there when Jordan asks Argent to watch him (5x17).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Leave Me As Well

**Author's Note:**

> I asked to send me angsty Marrish feels, and I received this one:
> 
> Anonymous asked: "angst marrish: lydia hears his monologue about shooting him if needed from 5x17 opening and waits for everyone to leave and then glares at him "how dare you? how the fuck dare you?" she bangs her fists on his chest "you want to die, huh? you want to get shot? You want to leave me too?" she screams "see if I care" everything stops and she hiccups "you make me love you and now you're going to get yourself killed? I can't- I can't lose you too" and then they kiss. idk, it sounded better in my had"
> 
> So I decided to turn it into a fic! :)

"It happens every night. I don't know when, and I don't know what triggers it, but at some point every night, I leave. When I come back, I find burnt clothes and blood. If I didn't know certain things, I'd call it sleepwalking. But I'm not just wandering out the door. I'm heading out with purpose, I'm searching for something. That's why I need you to follow me. I need to know where I'm going and what I'm doing. If people are getting hurt because of me. If I'm adding to the body count. I have to know. When I wake up at night... When it takes over, I want you to follow me. And if you have to, I want you to stop me."

Lydia stares at Jordan in shock. Her feet are nailed to the ground, and she can feel her throat tighten at his words, as if she's being choked by them, giving her the urge to gasp for air. She wishes he'd look up, look at her and tell her it was all a joke. A sick, terrifying joke. But Lydia knows that Jordan would never do that. He wouldn't joke about something like this. 

She turns to Argent. She didn't expect to see him in Jordan's apartment. Lydia had come over to thank the deputy for what he did for her in Eichen House. How he stopped her from screaming herself to death, how he carried her out when she was too weak to walk on her own. She just wanted to thank him for saving her. How did she end up hearing Jordan say these words? Jordan had told her that he invited him. That he needed his help. With what? Lydia had asked him. She just didn't expect to hear this answer. 

Argents turns to her, and when his eyes meet hers, Lydia can read the concern off his face. It's probably the same concern that she's feeling, although hers is probably infinite times stronger. For a moment, Lydia thinks that Argent is going to convince Jordan not to go through with this insane plan, but then the look on Chris' face changes, and she realises that they both think the same thing: Jordan's made up his mind, and there's nothing they can say or do to change it. 

"If you leave," Chris begins, "how do you want me to stop you?"  
Jordan shrugs. "You have weapons. Plenty of them from what I've heard. If I go out at night and do something... dangerous, or if I hurt someone, promise me you'll do everything you have to in order to stop me."  
"Everything?"  
"Everything," Jordan says, not a single tremble in his voice. "Even if it means you have to shoot me."

Lydia wants to scream. Not her Banshee-scream, the one that she doesn't want to use in any way when it comes to Jordan. Her own scream. She wants the sound to make her forget everything Jordan's said, she wants her voice to take away the pain she's feeling from his words. Wants to return to the world that existed the moment Jordan's fire saved her from her own scream. The world that only existed for the both of them. But she stays quiet, and listens to the two men making plans.

"When do you want to start?" Argent asks.  
"Tonight," Jordan simply says. Lydia bites the inside of her cheek to keep herself from bursting out into tears.  
"Then I guess I'd better start making some preparations." Chris makes his way to the door, opens it, but turns around one more time before leaving. "You're absolutely sure?"  
Jordan doesn't respond for a moment, and for a second, Lydia thinks that he might have changed his mind. But then he nods at Argent, who replies with a nod of his own and leaves the apartment, leaving Lydia and Jordan on their own. 

Silence fills the room. Jordan turns around to Lydia. He realises she hasn't said a word since he explained his plan, and notices she has a strange expression on her face.  
"Are you okay?" he asks while walking towards her. The girl doesn't reply. "Lydia?" He wants to lay his hand on her shoulder, offering her some sort of comfort, but she pushes his hand away.

"How dare you!" Lydia yells, pushing past him, making her way to the door.  
"What?" Jordan turns around, confusion spread over his face.  
"How dare you!" Lydia repeats, even louder this time.  
"What do you mean?" Jordan asks her, his voice louder than he expected.  
"WHAT DO I MEAN?!?" She's full-on shouting now. "YOU REALLY WANT TO DIE SO BADLY?? YOU'RE JUST GONNA LET HIM SHOOT YOU?? JUST LIKE THAT??" Her voice starts to become weak, her hands are visibly shaking, and she can feel the tears welling up in her eyes. "YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE UP SO EASILY?? NOT EVEN GOING TO BOTHER FINDING OUT HOW TO CONTROL IT?? FINE, SEE IF I CARE!!"

She pulls the door open, ready to leave, when she feels Jordan's hand around her wrist.

"Lydia, wait-"

"LET ME GO!" She yanks her arm free, not going to bother listening to him. She doesn't want to hear any more of what he's got to say. "JUST GO GET YOURSELF KILLED! IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE SO BADLY, JUST DO IT! I'M USED TO PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT LEAVING ME! MIGHT AS WELL ADD YOUR NAME TO THE LIST!!" Silent tears have begun to stream down her face. She quickly wipes them away and tries to leave the apartment once more, but Jordan's hand is wrapped around her arm again, and this time she's not quick enough to pull it loose before he pulls her into a tight embrace. 

Lydia tries to break free from his arms, banging her fists on his chest, calling him every name she can think of, but Jordan doesn't let her go. He just endures her shouting and name calling, until she eventually stops and breaks down against his chest, muffling her sobs. He can feel her body shaking in his arms, and a thought crosses his mind. The thought that he might not know a way to make this better. He knows that he won't change his mind about what he asked Argent to do. If it were necessary, he'd want to be stopped. Even if that meant-

"Everyone I care about just leaves me." Lydia's voice interrupts his thoughts. It's just a broken whisper filled with pain and sadness. "First Jackson, then Aiden and Allison." A sob escapes her mouth. "And now you're going to leave me too." She clutches his shirt, and Jordan can feel his heart shatter into pieces. 

"I don't want to leave," he says softly. "Lydia, leaving you is the last thing I wanna do. Believe me. I just-" He searches for the words to describe how he feels. "I'm just scared." Lydia pushes herself away from him so she can look into his eyes. Her make up's run out from crying, leaving dark circles under her eyes from her mascara, but Jordan can't help but think that she still looks as beautiful as ever. "I don't know what this thing is. This Hellhound. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, I don't know how to control it, I don't know if I'm one of the good guys or one of the bad guys, and it just scares me, the not knowing," he explains. "I'm scared of being dangerous, I'm scared of hurting people, I'm scared of hurting you. I just don't want to be responsible for something happening to you. Or anyone else." 

"But you don't have to take these kinds of measures?" Lydia begs him. "We'll find a way to control it, I'm sure we will."  
"And what if we can't?" Jordan asks. "What if I can't control it? I don't want to be a danger to anyone."  
"You're not. You're helping us. We need you to fight this Beast. The pack needs you. I need you. And I don't want you to-"  
"I know..." Jordan interrupts her. "And I'm going to try to find a way to win. To control the Hellhound, to defeat the Beast. I'm going to try as hard as I can, I promise. Okay?" He smiles at her, and Lydia smiles a sad smile back before burying her face into his chest again. Jordan wraps her arms around her, enveloping her in an embrace neither of them want to leave. He kisses the top of her head. "I promise," he repeats, whispering the words before burying his face in the girl's strawberry blonde locks.

And for a moment, they're back into their own world. A world that only exist for the two of them. A world that they both dread might disappear sooner rather than later.


End file.
